looking back at my past 20 years, i start to realise i've been wasting away my whole life. what have i done much? have i completed a marathon? have i been academically outstanding? have i been proud of myself lately? have i donated to the poor? have i...there's so many have i's. but the thing is, it's too late to cry over what i have not done. it's time to wake up, start dreaming again. start a fire. and keep it going. i know i can. i've seen myself do it. i've gotten the inspiration, the motivation. i've smelt the fear of not achieving anything, and boy, would i take the smell of the garbage dump just about 250 metres away any day. i'd even live in it.

but see, that's the thing. we all know the smell, hopefully most of us, if not all. but what do we do the next day we wake up? we start back the same routine. it's time to break the routine. instead of brushing with your right hand, brush with your left hand. instead of taking the bus to the MRT station, walk down (unless of course you take the bus to your destination or the MRT station is 5 miles away, in which case, you'd probably be better taking the bus). instead of reading a good-for-nothing 8-Days magazine, why not pick up something that's more useful for your everyday life. or instead of reading magazines at all, why not pick up a good book if you haven't. simple things to break the routine of what we're used to. by doing so, we see what we've been missing, and possibly what we will or will not be missing.

i will be doing so. i wanna get a bike. a road bike. instead of jumping onto the bus to ferry me all the way to the MRT to get squeezed, why not wake up a little earlier. enjoy the morning breeze. get to see the world from a different view. slowly watch the dawn break and see it break the clouds and blind you with the sun rays peeping through the parting of the clouds. of course, you'd have to deal with the cars on the road, zooming past you and ignorantly forgetting the fact that you do have a right on the road as much as the next car. but then again, we complain a lot, but that's another story.

my accounting practices stare back at me now, with my pen sleeping in between my textbook, uncapped. i remember now why i'm still awake at 0022 hours. exams are in about one week, give and take a few more days. or rather just GIVE a few more days. have to keep reminding myself that. one more thing i've gotta remind myself, start my running back on sunday. can't wait to get back into my shoes and hit the road. after exams, get on a training regime and see where i go.

like Buzz Lightyear said, "To Infinity and Beyond". run it, pedal it, push it. damn the chill's back.