____________________________ runasfastasyoucan // and don't look back;

Sunday, June 27, 2010

alright. tomorrow. finally. i'll get to know what's the real problem with my legs. damn, i'm getting a little dramatic. how bad can it be? in fact, there's hardly any pain now. sure if i press here and there, sure i'll be able to find the spot. but it's a very small area. and it won't make me go 'ARGHHHH'. and also i can't wait to get on my running shoes and hit the tracks. of course, start slow. i hate that. but hey, sometimes we've gotta take the slow road. okay, i admit. i've been watching re-runs of 'Cars'.

today singapore international water festival. didn't exactly know what we had to do. and i still don't really know what i did actually. saw all the pretty republic poly rowers and wondered why sp is in such a sorry state. saw this fat ugly half nude native indian girl who strutted her cellulite all over marina barrage and caused a few regurgitations (mostly involuntary, except for the few bulimic girls around). and then there was her. damn, nav is dead.

okay okay. time to revive nav.

"hey girl, what's that in your eye? oh, it's just a sparkle"

"are you alright girl? nah, i'm just asking cause i'm figuring that it might have as least bruised you when you fell down from heaven"

"could i take a picture of you? nah, i just wanna let santa claus know what i want for christmas"

and for the sick bastards out there, "could you tell me the opening hours of your legs"

kinda having a headache now. it ain't gonna stop me though. from doing...well, actually, there's nothing for me to do. except to go to sleep. 2358. still early. school's starting tomorrow too. damn, can't wait to get this whole sem done and done with. then the shit starts back for another sem. and then for another year. i just get so pissed off sometimes. argh, why? damn, i need to run. get my emotions and feelings running in the right direction. and no assholes. not those kind of feelings and emotions like the boo-hoo, emo-one-corner kind. it's those punch-you-in-the-face feelings. yeah, you know that one.

haiz, i really can't stop thinking about her. why? i don't know why man.

Me: "are you tired"

Girl: "yeah, abit"

Me: "that's cause you've been running through my mind the whole day"

x Nav ran as fast as he could

[[ never look back ]]

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

sometimes, we just can't get our legs moving fast enough. sometimes, we just can't get our asses off our chairs on a day we feel is too nice to go running. sometimes, we just feel so down we can't really motivate ourselves enough. we can't help but get this feeling. but instead of dragging our sad asses down for a run, why not inspire, motivate and hype yourself up by reading some of these really awesome quotes.

" To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift. "
- Steve Prefontaine

" Racing teaches us to challenge ourselves. It teaches us to push beyond where we thought we could go.It helps us to find out what we are made of. This is what we do. This is what it's all about. "
- Patti Sue Plummer

" We run, not because we think it is doing us good, but because we enjoy it and cannot help ourselves. "
- Sir Roger Bannister

" Ask yourself, can I give more? The answer is usually yes. "
- Paul Tergat

" There is no such thing as bad weather, just soft people. "
- Bill Bowerman

" If you want to win something, run the 100m. If you want to experience something, run a marathon. "
- Emil Zatopek

" Run like hell and get the agony over with. "
- Clarence De Mar

" When you win, say nothing. When you lose, say less. "
- Paul Brown

"It's very hard to understand in the beginning that the whole idea is not to beat the other runners. Eventually you learn that the competition is against the little voice inside you that wants to quit. "
- George Sheehan

"Somewhere in the world someone is training when you are not. When you race him, he will win."
- Tom Fleming's Boston Marathon training sign on his wall

hope you guys feel some stuff shooting throughout your body - from your mind to your legs, from your legs to your arms, from your arms back to your mind, and finally, from your mind to your heart. so get out there and run. it's only midnight. have you ever felt the cold breeze at night when you run in the company of your own solitude? have you ever breathed in the air everyone's missing, while they sleep in their bed? hearing only the footsteps of yours as you pound the pavements into the darkness with just the few to many lamps dimly lighting the road for you. it's magic - the way it can push you forward, push you harder, push you further without even having to know it. so take out those running shoes, tie those laces up and set off. the world is waiting.

x Nav ran as fast as he could

[[ never look back ]]

Sunday, June 20, 2010

went for a sports seminar the other day. kinda okay. was falling asleep most of the time. and it's damn hard to concentrate on what's going on. and of course my attention when i was a awake was on something else. someone else??

but hey, some of the stuff that they mentioned, it's like i already know. the 'theory' part. i kinda think of it as just giving a fancy name to all the things i know just like that. like the visualisation, which the skill i kinda picked up by watching videos of the greats. then there was the goal-setting which we learnt like years ago. but of course, still useful.

right now on my mind, is still the pain in my legs. stress injury? shin splints? stress fracture? in a few days i will know. right now, i have to keep guessing. and resting. okay, i have to admit, i have not rested that well. walked alot. ran very little. but i do run up and the over-head bridge when going home. that's about what i do with my legs. currently trying to get the most of this period of leg rest by swimming, cycling and basically overall fitness. and as we speak, there's a shooting pain up my left tibia. and there's still a very sharp pain when i press on my right leg. only when i press it. the other time was just pain when i stand and run and walk. haiz, what do i do.

i've got so many goals. not only running stuff. but there's that goal. yes, i think i still do want to achieve that goal. yes. i still do. there i've said it. but i dunno. everytime i speak to her. shit. man. whatever happened to the stud in me. you know. i was that guy who could sweet talk any girl. who could just go to any girl and say 'man, i'll take you to the moon if you take me to your house". well, okay, i never said that. but just one girl managed to make me into a wuss. a insecure little boy. man, i need to go pick up them chicks. maybe, maybe, i should blind myself and visualise her as some other chick. yes, that'll work. either it will work or it will make her kick me in the shin.

x Nav ran as fast as he could

[[ never look back ]]

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

back from track camp. track camp was alright. nightwalk was probably the highlight and probably the reason why i was there. or rather, the second reason why i was there.

awww man, i seriously adored it. i just adored it. and i still do.

argh, in other news. MRI was done. half an hour of lying down, forcing myself to not move a muscle. but i think i did move a few muscles. like the hell do you keep still for half an hour. we live in the age of superb technology yet an MRI still takes half an hour, at the very least. and it's like some noisy-ass machine. wish they could have played some music in the headphone though. at least there could be some entertainment. half an hour. that's like about the same time the train taked to get from eunos to dover.

did a number of tests actually. X-ray, MRI and CT scans. i tried to think of this as tests to find out why i'm so god-damn good. but like what lance armstrong once said, "people always wanna find out what i'm on. what am i on? i'm on my bike, busting my ass six hours a day."

well, anyway, guess from now on, i have to learn how to swim and keep going at it. then i've gotta go cycling and do other cardio. man, sometimes i feel two years is a long time and at the same time a very short time. i can't control the time. but i can control what i do within that time. and that's probably what that ever matters. anyway, hope this injury doesn't keep me down longer than i want it to.

lost my will to drag on. so i'll end with a little something. sometimes it's good to look behind.

x Nav ran as fast as he could

[[ never look back ]]

Saturday, June 12, 2010

in about a few hours, me and my ass will be down at school for track camp.

track camp. i think i'm gonna miss a nightwalk. i guess. it's always the first night right? i dunno. for once i would like to have 'we'll-scare-you-for-no-reason-other-than-we-like-it' nightwalk. i wonder what else am i gonna miss. oh, the reason why i'm gonna miss it? well, i'm going for to the sports clinic tomorrow. gonna check out the real reason behind the strains and pains when i push hard. already found by x-ray that there's nothing wrong with the bone. no fracture. no thin line cracks. which is good news...i hope it is. hm, wonder what the doctor would say. maybe something bad. or rather, what if he says there's really nothing wrong after all the checks. am i born messed up? i hope not. that's scary then. i can't run competitively then.

in case you don't know, i have to admit that i am a little bit of a hypochondriac. sometimes i get a little paranoid over a little pain. then after a while, those little pains would be gone and i'll be like, damn, i just stressed 13 hours of my life over nothing.

track training has been alright. 2-min pacing. it's not tiring, though my breathing seems to be getting the better of me. too heavy i guess. ain't that comfortable breathing that i'm used to. in case you'll don't know (where have i said this before), i have a crooked nose septum. you know the nose bridge. you know when pinch your nose all the way, it's straight right. mine's crooked at the bottom. what this means is that i only get proper breathing through my right airway. but only a little bit of air can go in my left airway cause the crooked septum disrupts it. the only way it can be 'okayed' or fixed, is by going through a surgery called 'endonasal rhinoplasty'. which is basically plastic reconstruction surgery. remove the old septum and putting in a straight new one. and the operation isn't that nice.

okay. kinda brutal. but i mean the one with sawing of the nose, that i don't really need. but it's expensive. unless i go to india, where it'll be cheaper. and no, its not going to be done in some back alley by an old man in a dhoti, smelling of curry and flashing a toothless grin here and there. idiots. it'll be done in a decent surgery room (com'on, the only thing you need in a surgery room is good equipment and a hell-of-a doctor). if you got neither, you're probably f**ked or in myanmar.

but i was thinking, if i was put out to rest for weeks or a month for resting my legs, i could probably try looking into this endonasal rhinoplasty. cause the swelling goes in two weeks. so, then i'll come back in stronger, and probably a little fresher.

alright, time to read tintin. one of my favourite boyhood comic book heroes.

x Nav ran as fast as he could

[[ never look back ]]

Friday, June 4, 2010

it's 0036, my eyes are becoming heavier by the second and i'm watching a dog dance ballet. what has the world come to.

maybe i'm new to all this, but it feels that nowadays humans have sunk lower into the shithole. what we consider of ourselves once as the superior kind on earth, i feel that we should seriously reconsider that statement and evaluate the things we are doing wrong. allow me to state some examples.

walking into the park, what do you see? dogs talking a walk, with the owners behind them, tagging at their leashes whenever they feel like. digress a bit here. you know why you always see owners walking their dogs on sundays? cause the maids are having their off day. anyway, all of these dog-walkers have one thing in common - a plastic bag. why? to carry the dog's poop. hold the phone, carry the poop. now, i know it's all bout responsibility and keeping the place green and all, but whoa, have we succumbed to the point that we have to use our hands with the use of a plastic bag to act as a temporary glove to pick up the poop? we won't even pick up our own shit, not to mention someone else's poop. but a dog's poop? dog shit. always used in many instances of fights and arguments as it is considered to be more horrendous than human shit. and we're picking that shit up. we're humans. we're the same ones who invented stuff from the wheel to the nuclear bomb to plastic surgery and to the snuggie blanket. we invent stuff that people will don't have a need for and a want that may be of disturbing value. we can't invent a simple tool or gadget to help us in this dog shit fiasco. like just a little box that you can put over it and the poop will somehow disintegrate due to some plasmatic rays of some sort that is emitted from the box. i don't know. we're smart creatures.

but i doubt we're getting any smarter. i've seen a few clips that really just show the sorry state of human kind's current stand. there are people impersonating and imitating animals on talent shows. there's terrible excuses for reality shows on tv right now and i'd bet to you that the viewership is as high as your neighbour who's on some sort of valium frenzy.

just the other day, there was 50-year-old-plus kid, calling the police on us (track people) just because a girl kinda pushed him away. man, what a jerk. and the cops were i think just trying to entertain him as much as they can until he got satisfied. i've got so much jokes about that. man, i hate to be his friend. put an arm over him and i'm sure i'll have a warrant of arrest for threatening his dear life. he must be gay. he called the police after a girl laid his hand on him. man, i thought men of his age were excited about that. he's probably never got laid before. all the girls, or guys, have probably been given restraint orders. he's like a mimosa plant you know - also called a touch-me-not. he's probably going senile, and he loves the attention.

there's more swimming in my head, but anyway, wonder what he wanted. he was there arguing for like half an hour. wait, arguing? no. sorry. i meant to say whining.

haiz, he's gonna die one day. guess he's living his life to the fullest and doesn't want any regrets. maybe he just doesn't want to regret not having make a call to the police about an unfortunate event affecting him.

and as if the world can't get any more dumber, here's another video i found on the internet. it's this pastor in uganda who's against homosexuality. but i must say, his ways of getting people to support his view and stand is a bit, disturbing.

that anal thing kinda makes me think he has had experience.

i dunno but i feel stupid people should die stupidly. it's the only way that human kind can progress. and in singapore, the first one to die, ris low.

x Nav ran as fast as he could

[[ never look back ]]

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

was at starbucks earlier on.

"a tall java chip please. wait what? hold on, a tall is a small? shouldn't a tall be a tall?"

i've kinda had it with these fancy euphemisms to just create the impression that you are actually getting value for money. call a book a book. it's a small right? it's the smallest size isn't it? then call it a small. it's all just very confusing. and it's not only starbucks.

i remember when i was a little kid, lighting up with the biggest grin on my face and the littlest thing. and i can't forget those days when i would step up to the front of the counter with a tooth missing in my smile, ordering a happy meal with my mother at the nearest macdonalds for the breakfast. a small orange juice at the side please and thank you. i would gulp down the meal, and start playing with my little hamburglar while sipping on my juice. SMALL juice.

10 years later, and apparently "i'm lovin' it" at macdonalds. i'm there again, ordering a huge burger, knowing that it'll probably fill up my black hole of a stomach for an hour or so and also clogging my arteries along the way. "...yeah, and with a small coke. what? no small coke? i don't get what you mean?"

i must've missed the news. small was changed to regular in macdonalds. but in years to come, mcdonalds would change that regular back to small and tell you that that there's no such thing as a large milo. in other areas, a small was a regular, a regular was a medium, a medium was a large, and anything larger than that had to be shipped in from america. it didn't stop there. people then said there wasn't such thing as a small. some even said there was no such thing as a medium. so there was only a small and a large. might as well call it a 'small' and 'big'.

then there's the 7-11's Big Gulp fiasco. there's gulp. then big gulp, and super big gulp. so at that time, it was assumed that gulp was small, big gulp was medium and then super big gulp was large. but people argued that big gulp had the word 'big' in it, thus it should be large. and super big gulp, cause it had 'super' which meant extra or something, meant that it was extra large. so there wasn't a medium? then came an even smaller gulp if i'm not wrong? so is that a extra small? i'm confused. how many sizes are there?

do we really need to be bombarded by all these confusion over something so trivial? and plus, i hate those euphemisms like i said earlier. small became tall. large became grande. i wonder who's feeling so insecure about drinking a small frappe. have we really grown to such extent that we need to feel better by the size of the drink we're drinking from? what, does ego act in direct accordance with the size of the drink? that's a pretty sad. if that's the case, i wonder how those people who drink vitagen feel about themselves. and does that mean people who drink straight from those 2-litre milk bottle really are a pain in the ass. must be. i am.

then anyway, you know at starbucks. they sometimes ask for your name. well, they do when there's a whole load of people. so they can keep track or something. i like to make myself not feel obliged to give my real name. so i just come up with a name. you know, something like raja, or joeseph, or craig. heck, sometimes i don't even give them a proper name. i always like to mess with them a bit. like you know, something like 'batman'. or 'superman'. imagine a barista, in the middle of his/her busy shift. her hair's all messed up. her mascara is off the line. and then she looks up to see who's drink it is. "i have a frappe for Batman". and then everyone will just look at you. and you just play it off by grinning a bit and walking away suavely.

or if i'm feeling in a bad mood, (like after realising your mother wasn't as good as i thought she would be), i just give them a weird name and make them wish they never asked for my name. "Alejandrinajolie".

x Nav ran as fast as he could

[[ never look back ]]