track camp. i think i'm gonna miss a nightwalk. i guess. it's always the first night right? i dunno. for once i would like to have 'we'll-scare-you-for-no-reason-other-than-we-like-it' nightwalk. i wonder what else am i gonna miss. oh, the reason why i'm gonna miss it? well, i'm going for to the sports clinic tomorrow. gonna check out the real reason behind the strains and pains when i push hard. already found by x-ray that there's nothing wrong with the bone. no fracture. no thin line cracks. which is good news...i hope it is. hm, wonder what the doctor would say. maybe something bad. or rather, what if he says there's really nothing wrong after all the checks. am i born messed up? i hope not. that's scary then. i can't run competitively then.

in case you don't know, i have to admit that i am a little bit of a hypochondriac. sometimes i get a little paranoid over a little pain. then after a while, those little pains would be gone and i'll be like, damn, i just stressed 13 hours of my life over nothing.

track training has been alright. 2-min pacing. it's not tiring, though my breathing seems to be getting the better of me. too heavy i guess. ain't that comfortable breathing that i'm used to. in case you'll don't know (where have i said this before), i have a crooked nose septum. you know the nose bridge. you know when pinch your nose all the way, it's straight right. mine's crooked at the bottom. what this means is that i only get proper breathing through my right airway. but only a little bit of air can go in my left airway cause the crooked septum disrupts it. the only way it can be 'okayed' or fixed, is by going through a surgery called 'endonasal rhinoplasty'. which is basically plastic reconstruction surgery. remove the old septum and putting in a straight new one. and the operation isn't that nice.

okay. kinda brutal. but i mean the one with sawing of the nose, that i don't really need. but it's expensive. unless i go to india, where it'll be cheaper. and no, its not going to be done in some back alley by an old man in a dhoti, smelling of curry and flashing a toothless grin here and there. idiots. it'll be done in a decent surgery room (com'on, the only thing you need in a surgery room is good equipment and a hell-of-a doctor). if you got neither, you're probably f**ked or in myanmar.

but i was thinking, if i was put out to rest for weeks or a month for resting my legs, i could probably try looking into this endonasal rhinoplasty. cause the swelling goes in two weeks. so, then i'll come back in stronger, and probably a little fresher.

alright, time to read tintin. one of my favourite boyhood comic book heroes.